I can’t believe it but it is true. My civil status is now officially
married. I thought that it will remain single for the rest of my life J
I never thought that this time will still come. When I was younger I’ve
been dreaming about having my own family with my loving husband and wonderful kids
etc.… I could still remember the answer of Sushmita Sen (Miss Universe 1994),
on the question, “What is the essence of
being a woman?” She answered, “Just
being a woman is God’s gift that all of us must appreciate. The origin of a
child is a mother, and is a woman.
She shows a man what sharing, caring and loving is all about. That is the
essence of a woman.” I also grew up in a big family and we get along well,
so I thought that having a family and children will bring me fulfillment as a
woman. I also prayed to God to give me someone that will complement me and be
my better half for the rest of my life.
But as time goes by and as I get older (please don’t ask my age J),
it came upon me that maybe I am destined for single-blessedness. I mean, there
is nothing wrong in being single and I believe and trust God that when he wants
me to remain single then it is for the better. Though there were few that
attempted to get my heart, but only one touched my heart (that is my husband of
course J). But the timing was not right and there are some things
that need to be settled before getting married. There was also a time that we
end our relationship due to long distance and some differences in views. By the
way, ours is a Long Distance Relationship, so it’s been very hard to maintain. So
I began to “lose” hope on being married. No boyfriend and no suitors…
But you know what; there came a point in my life that I am willing to
leave my family and ministry so that I could be with Him provided that he
marries me first. It is always my prayer
that we will be together, without me knowing it, my motivation became selfish,
I became pushy and begin to disregard some important values, and hurt people
that love me. But Praise God that he revealed to me James 4:3, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what
you get on your pleasures.” And I
realize that my heart is not right when I pray.
After that, I surrendered all to God and give Him all my concerns. I
also asked for forgiveness for being selfish, bossy and even doubting him. And
you know what, after a few months, God gave the desires of my heart.
The key is to trust in God’s timing not our timing. The Bible says that He has made everything beautiful in its
time. And indeed, it was beautiful. I learned that you just need to
surrender all the desires of your heart to God and wait for His perfect time, his
time is always perfect. God knows our heart and its desire, just trust that
what he wants is the best for us.
Fast forward, recently, we had our civil and church wedding. We also spent
our honeymoon in Maldives (please read here) and enjoyed it very much and everything went on
smoothly. I thanked God for His perfect timing and provision all the time.
I know that this is just the start of a new chapter in my life and I pray
that God will always be the center of our relationship. I am excited to this new
journey! Please pray for me as I pray for you…
God bless us more J
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He
has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has
done from beginning to end." - Ecclesiastes 3:11
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