On
July 07, 2018 at 6:48am, came the most precious and wonderful gift of God to me,
my firstborn. After almost 39 weeks, I finally saw her. After I experienced all
the pain of labor (believe me, it was really agonizing), everything washed away
after I laid eyes on her.
She
weighs more than 3kg and so delicate that I was hesitant to carry her at first but
thanks to motherly instinct, I experienced the joy of holding her.
The
doctors and nurses at the hospital advise me to breastfeed her because it will
be the best for both of us, but having inverted nipples my baby had a hard time
sucking them. I was frustrated as I want to breastfeed her. They told us that
we can buy a nipple shield so she can suck easily but I do not have milk at
that time. My baby was crying non-stop because she cannot suck any milk from me
and was so hungry, so we asked for a formula but the hospital required us to sign
a waiver first before they will release the formula.
I
was happy that she is doing well and expecting that we could go home the next
day. My vitals and her vitals are okay. Then in the beginning of the evening,
there are slight changes in her vitals. They also informed us that they will conduct
hearing test at midnight but didn’t return her to our room immediately which
made me wonder why. When I asked, they said that they are observing her. My joy
turned into sadness when they said that my baby has to stay in the hospital for
5 days. They found out the she has infection in the blood and needs to take
antibiotics and is also suffering from neonatal jaundice. As a new mom, I was troubled
by the news, wondering what I did that caused her that infection. I never
imagined that she will experience taking medicines and undergo different kind
of tests at a tender age. Instead of blaming anyone, I prayed to God that she
will heal her.
As
soon as I was discharged from the hospital, my husband and I started to process
the papers of our baby. We have only 120 days from birth to sort out the documents
to make her live legally in the country.
While we were going back and forth to see our baby, we had a chance to
process her paper work. I am grateful now that they immediately saw that
infection instead of bringing her home and taking her back at the hospital
which will also be difficult because of my expired insurance.
I praise God that we were able to take her
home after 5 days (without extra cost). The discharge summary shows that she
was healed from the infection and the jaundice. Yey! I am grateful to God; He
is truly the Great Healer (Jehovah-Rapha)!
Fast
forward, being a new mom is very challenging and exciting. I do not have enough
sleep because I need wake up to feed the baby, burp her, and put her back to
sleep (which takes 2 hours). While she is sleeping, I will clean the room and her
bottles. It was exhausting especially that I am alone. I also don’t eat on time;
I was doing nothing for myself (adjustment period). Not sleeping well and not
eating on time made me lose weight (which is a good thing for me J). But all that weariness fades away when I see my baby
grows healthy and beautiful.
I
thank God every day for our precious “gift
of love, devoted to God” (that’s the meaning of her name J) and will forever treasure it in my heart. Thank you for
praying for me and my baby.
God bless us more!
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming
down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting
shadows.” - James 1:17
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